My definition of crazy, therefore, is someone who is living in a world that feels less structured, less predictable, and less in-control than a “normal person”‘s world does.
going to break down The crazy girl red flags into three main categories, for all of the men and women if your playing for the other team. Boom Check it.
- Emotions and Behavior
- Things She Talks About
- People and Things in Her Life
Here are the three (3) emotional red flags to look for to spot a crazy girl:
She’s very emotional. Excitement, enthusiasm, contagious optimism, explosive anger or irritation, being all over the place in any way – all these are signs of a girl who falls more on the “crazy” side of things than the alternative.
She’s inconsistent. She’ll start something, drop it, and move to something else. She’ll be talking about one thing, then switch suddenly and talk about something else. She’ll branch off on things that have little or nothing to do with what she was discussing before. She does not have much “staying power”, because as she lives in the moment, there are many different things that capture her attention – and she grows quickly bored with things she’s already got a handle on and feels in control over She Needs It. Her behavior is also inconsistent and flighty – one minute she may be about to peel away from you and leave, and an instant later she’s going home with you. The crazier she is, the more inconsistent she is.
She’s highly sociable and charismatic. This one’s as dead a giveaway as anything – you only become very sociable and charismatic if you are around people a LOT, and not in too many stable, long-term relationships where it’s just you and your partner because that’s enough for you. She needs attention, craves it, requires its emotional validation to shore up her emotional uncertainty about herself, and as a result has transformed herself into a social champion. Charismatic, sociable people learn to conceal their emotional swings, to present a more pleasing exterior, but you will still see flashes of high excitement and bristling frustration burst through depending on the circumstance, before a rapid return to her charismatic demeanor (sometimes these outbursts contribute to her charisma, in fact).
A good way of summing up a crazy girl’s emotions and behavior is, “Excitable, irritable, engaged with many different ideas, activities, topics, and people, and very winning socially.”
Interestingly enough, when you meet a beautiful but otherwise “normal” girl, you’ll find that she’s a nice person, but rather flat personality-wise… she’s just warm and caring, but isn’t exactly all that competitive from a sociability / charisma point of view, and isn’t terribly excitable (she also won’t stroke your ego quite as much, as she’ll be more inured to your charms and less awestruck at your accomplishments – though she’ll generally be pleasant about them! These things are simply not as important to her).
A crazy girl will talk about:
Controversy. When the original pick up artists burst onto the scene, because they were mostly meeting “hot” girls in nightclubs (that is, women of average looks who’ve learned to make themselves visually stunning with makeup, hair, clothes, posture, and behavior, mostly in order to get more attention, and who tend to fall primarily on the “crazy” side of the spectrum), they leaned on a number of controversy-generating routines, like asking women if they thought men or women lied more, or telling stories about a friend’s girlfriend trying to burn his pictures of ex-girlfriends. Crazy women go nuts for controversy, because they don’t understand it, and want to state their views and impose them on the world in a vain attempt to find some order; they will bring up controversial topics, and they jump all over them when you bring them up, too. Normal girls, on the other hand, find these topics draining and insignificant, and don’t understand why you need to focus on petty controversies like whatever is being brought up. They may relate a little bit to be nice, but you’ll be able to tell their hearts aren’t in it… controversy holds no strong appeal for them.
Other people / gossip. The sister to controversy is gossip, and the crazier a woman is, the more she loves it. Again, gossip is an attempt to make sense of an insane world with impossible-to-understand people; where a normal girl has a mental model in place that allows her to make rapid sense of people’s actions (and thus, finds them largely uninteresting as conversation topics), a crazy girl is never able to attain full understanding of why people do what they do, and these things are always shocks and surprises.
A handy metric for discerning how crazy (or not) a girl is from her conversation: just ask yourself, “How drama-filled is her conversation – how much of it is about controversy, gossip, and the craziness of various things in the world?” The more, the “crazier”; the less, the more “normal.”
The red flags denoting a crazy girl stemming from the people and things in her life therefore are:
She has a lot of people who think she’s AMAZING around her. The more people praising her, the better she feels. Such people give her an unrealistic view of herself – inflating her crazy – but they also help buffer her emotional ups and downs… because they think she’s so great, they won’t get upset when she’s feeling glum, and will instead work to smooth out her emotional busts and help her rebound (at their own emotional expense). Normal girls feel weird around people who give them too much hero worship, realizing that effusive praise is based on seeing someone as a legend or a super star more than it is on seeing her as a real person, and as those people get closer to her and become more familiar with her, those emotions tend to crash, and lead to resentment and bitterness when the hero worshipper realizes that his hero is not so different from himself after all… and perhaps even quite lacking in some ways by comparison.
She has frequent fallings out with people, leading to a revolving door of friends in her life. The dramatics of crazy women and their inability to tolerate others’ opinions frequently lead to fights and falling outs that ruin their relationships, even with many otherwise very stable people. The only people you’ll notice she has in her life over prolonged periods of time are those she doesn’t spend a whole lot of time around – the more time she spends with someone, the more likely a blowup is to occur.
Her involvement in activities is passionate – and short-lived.When she starts something new, it’s very often AMAZING, and she wants everyone to know how awesome it is, and she wants everyone to do it with her… but she doesn’t do it for long. Normal girls far less frequently do new things, by comparison; they sing the praises of the things they do less; and they stick with them far more often, and for much longer periods of time. The difference again is mostly time-orientation; crazy women pick things that make them feel good right now, but once the stimulation fades, they get out, while normal women pick things they’ve decided they ought to learn, or that would be good for them to learn, and they’re in it more for the personal development or longer-term gains or, sometimes, for relaxation / getting out of the house than they are for stimulation.
Here, you might define a crazy girl’s lifestyle as “new people who love me, new things to do – all the time!” on the bright side, and “falling outs with people who don’t love me, dropping old activities” on the dark side.
Crazy Girl Or Normal?